Aloha!
I am so grateful to be with you today at such a wonderful University, even a disciple preparation center! My thanks go out to President Tanner and Presidents Council for asking me to speak. The subject of my talk today is broadening your perspective.
To start off with, please take out your cell phones. I’m not joking. I would like to conduct an experiment before we dive into my talk. First, please send a text to someone you have not communicated with in a while. Take this time to send a short uplifting note via text to someone you haven’t talked to or reached out to for a long time. It could be as simple as a few emojis to convey your love or happiness to another person, or a note to your little sister telling her to stay strong in the Gospel- it is worth it. Just remember to keep it short. Please do so now and I will do the same. Now I’m going to ask you to put your phones away for a while as we discuss the importance of perspective.
We live in a day and age where everything we do is in quick sound bites. We text quick messages, sometimes even without words, using only emoji’s. We scroll through You-Tube, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Marco-Polo and hundreds of other apps or internet sites. We can flip through hundreds of channels on TV and find nothing of interest. As we do so, we’re making judgments in seconds about various shows. Beginning at a younger and younger age, minds are being trained to review information quickly and make instant judgment calls. Think about it: thumbs up, thumbs down, hearts, smiley face, frowny face.
How do we make such quick decisions as we are inundated with large quantities of information with a mere slide of the thumb? We make judgments about what we see or read based on our personal perspectives- where we come from, our life experiences, what we’ve learned and who we are. I submit to you, that everything you see, smell, hear, feel or read about, you make an instant judgment about:
Ugly, Pretty
Smart, Dumb
Cool, Lame
Amazing, Cringey
Fascinating, Boring
Tall, Short
Hot, Cold
Tastes good, tastes bad
Smells good, smells horrible
Today I would like to suggest some ways to broaden your perspective as you go throughout life. You are not going to stop making quick judgments, but with a broader perspective via additional information, you may judge differently or take time before judging things altogether.
First, everything you see or read is not always true. A reality show on TV, is not always reality. Oftentimes the outcomes are scripted, and the cast moved towards a desired outcome via challenges created by writers and producers. When you see, hear or read things in life, please be judgmental. Always find and then judge the source where the information is coming from. Be sure to judge the content- is it in harmony with your beliefs and your values? Ask yourself how you feel about the information and then determine what your perspective is.
Each one of us has a different perspective about life, marriage, faculty, BYU-Hawaii grounds, the Seasider Cafeteria, the Gospel and millions of other topics. This perspective has been developed over years as we have watched events play out in front of our eyes. The word ‘perspective’ has a Latin root meaning " to look through" or "perceive," and all the meanings of perspective have something to do with observing. If you observe the world from a child’s perspective, you see life in its simplicity and wonder. Through the eyes of an orphan, that same simplicity may become quite complex. Through the eyes of a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the view may be quite different from that of a practicing Catholic, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Jew, or Atheist, and that is just fine. Your job, is to understand the perspective of people around you, to know them, to gain knowledge of where they are coming from before you make any judgment.
Let’s look at a few pictures….
In this picture, do you see an old lady with a shawl or do you see a young lady looking away?
Can you see the person looking at you or the person playing a musical instrument?
Can you see the two ladies looking at each other or just the one behind the candle? Is it a lady or a man?
This is the same picture I showed you at first, but drawn differently. Now can you see the young woman or old lady with the shawl or both?
What do these pictures tell us? They tell us that all of you can see the same exact picture and have a very different perspective. How is that possible?
Let’s discuss one of my favorite stories in the entire Book of Mormon, it just so happens to include two very different perspectives. It is the story of Moroni and Pahoran.
Now let me summarize for you the way I read this passage of scripture. Moroni and his men are out digging ditches, working from sun up to sun down to fortify the areas where they are staying. They are hot and sweaty, without an abundance of food or clean water around. They are fighting on empty stomachs, loosing hope in their cause. Moroni sends a few letters to Pahoran, the gist of which is: we are starving, we are getting our behinds kicked and we need food and water and more supplies. No response is received, time and time again. Moroni and his lieutenants start grumbling and saying things like “Pahoran doesn’t even care about us. I bet he and his men are eating fresh fruit and warm bread tonight and sitting around telling stories and jokes.”
Pahoran on the other hand is fighting off an insurrection, not only can he not send food and supplies, he is just trying to keep Zarahemla from being taken over, so that when Moroni comes home there will be a home to come to. Pahoran fails in his attempts to thwart the uprising and loses the city of Zarahemla to the King-Men.
Ok, I wrote this from the top of my head before I went to the scriptures for the real story. Thus, what I just told you was my perspective about the perspective of Moroni and Pahoran.
Here is what the scriptures say…
Alma 59:3 it reads:
And it came to pass that he immediately sent an epistle to Pahoran, desiring that he should cause men to be gathered together to strengthen Helaman, or the armies of Helaman, insomuch that he might with ease maintain that part of the land which he had been so miraculously prospered in regaining.
Verse 13 says:
And it came to pass that Moroni was angry with the government, because of their indifference concerning the freedom of their country.
Then in Alma 60:1-2 we find:
And it came to pass that he wrote again to the governor of the land, who was Pahoran, and these are the words which he wrote, saying: Behold, I direct mine epistle to Pahoran, in the city of Zarahemla, who is the chief judge and the governor over the land, and also to all those who have been chosen by this people to govern and manage the affairs of this war.
For behold, I have somewhat to say unto them by the way of condemnation; for behold, ye yourselves know that ye have been appointed to gather together men, and arm them with swords, and with cimeters, and all manner of weapons of war of every kind, and send forth against the Lamanites, in whatsoever parts they should come into our land.
Skipping to verse 18 we read:
But why should I say much concerning this matter? For we know not but what ye yourselves are seeking for authority. We know not but what ye are also traitors to your country.
Ouch! At this point Moroni has just ripped into Pahoran. Did Moroni have all of the facts? Nope, he didn’t. His perspective told him that something was not right back in Zarahemna and Pahoran was to blame. How often do we jump to conclusions when we don’t have all the information? There are great lessons to be learned from these passages of scripture. Let’s read on and see how Pahoran responds.
In Alma 61:1 it reads:
Behold, now it came to pass that soon after Moroni had sent his epistle unto the chief governor, he received an epistle from Pahoran, the chief governor. And these are the words which he received:
OK, let’s just stop there for a minute. Moroni just sends this scathing note off to Pahoran and right after it is sent, he gets a letter from Pahoran. The letters have crossed in transit.
Verses 2 and 3:
I, Pahoran, who am the chief governor of this land, do send these words unto Moroni, the chief captain over the army. Behold, I say unto you, Moroni, that I do not joy in your great afflictions, yea, it grieves my soul.
But behold, there are those who do joy in your afflictions, yea, insomuch that they have risen up in rebellion against me, and also those of my people who are freemen, yea, and those who have risen up are exceedingly numerous.
Pahoran writes further that he is not upset at Moroni for being upset with him, but he does outline a way they can come together and take back Zarahemla.
Pahoran’s perspective in the Epistle to Moroni teaches us that by broadening our perspective, in this case Pahoran trying to see the world through Moroni’s eyes, greater understanding can take place and be achieved.
Please keep in mind the information from earlier that the word ‘perspective’ has a Latin root meaning "look through" or "perceive," and all the meanings of perspective have something to do with looking.
I spent 15 years in Corporate America before coming to work in church employment. I have worked at or consulted for several Fortune 500 companies such as: Microsoft, AT&T, Ford, Century Link, CBRE, Washington Mutual and others. What I have gained from these work experiences is a perspective of how I see the business world and how Disciples of Christ can work in this world and be successful.
It is very possible for young aspiring students as yourselves to climb the corporate ladder, be successful in your places of employment or at home without being negative, unkind, petty, dishonest or any other traits that are not pleasing unto God. It will not be easy but I submit to you today, based upon my own perspective, that was gained through thousands of business interactions over my career; that obeying God’s laws and trying to stay on the straight and narrow path will allow you to have greater success than deviating away from that path.
Let me give you three examples from my work experience:
Example 1:
I was 34 years old and had climbed the corporate ladder quickly through several companies. I had been recruited by a Fortune 500 company to be a Senior Vice President with oversight of facilities management in 1,800 locations in every state in the U.S. and provide leadership for 2,700 employees. I had meetings my second week of work that required me to be flying on the company jet with the Senior Management team. We would be in a different state every day. I was so excited, I had never flown in a Leer jet before and felt I had arrived at the pinnacle of my corporate career. Just after we took off the first day the President of the company came back to my seat and offered me something to drink. I told him water would be good, thank you. He insisted that the plane’s bar had every drink I could ever think of, I told him no thanks and water would be great. He left and returned with two glasses of clear liquid and set them at the table. From the outside of the glass it looked like water, but when I went to drink it I could smell alcohol. I asked him what it was, he told me to drink up, it was his version of purified water which was vodka. I told him I appreciated him thinking of me, but that I did not drink alcohol. He then became furious and told me that he would be watching me and if at any time I messed up, he would be buying me a one-way ticket (in coach) back to Denver, where I could pack my bags. This was a little upsetting. I had just sold my house in Seattle and bought a new house in Denver where I had also relocated my family to, but I held my ground and felt right about what I did. Each day and each flight got a little easier as the different Vice Presidents got to know me and by the end of the week as we got home late on a Friday night, this same President came up to me after we got off the plane and said, “You’re in.”
Yes, it was good that I didn’t drink, but what if you were sitting a few seats in front of me and saw the President bring alcohol to my seat? Would you think I must have drank it since the President didn’t come back to the front of the plane with the glasses? Or would your perspective be better informed like that of the person sitting next to me who could hear and see everything? We need to be careful not to judge too quickly.
Example #2:
My family and I were converted to the Church in Alabama when I was young. I attended Primary about a year before I became a deacon. We went to church occasionally until I was a teacher, then after that I fell into in-activity. Family night, family scripture reading, personal scripture reading, singing primary songs, was all foreign to me, but not to some of my close LDS friends. Luckily, I was able to get reactivated in the church my senior year of high school and came to BYU. Being around so many Mormon’s who grew up in the church was strange to me at times. At the end of the first semester, I went to tithing settlement. After tithing settlement, I stopped by my FHE sister’s apartment to say, “Hi.” I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt and had just come from my first ever tithing settlement with the Bishop. When they found this out, they all laughed and said that my appearance was a “No no.” I should have been dressed in Church clothes. I was so embarrassed. Up until that moment I had been so pleased with myself that I had attended my first tithing settlement. However, what others saw from their perspective, was an irreverent individual who went to his interview in shorts and a T-shirt. Their perspective was correct, it was not appropriate dress, but their judgment was not. The Bishop and the Lord had a different perspective, they were glad I was coming to church and had gone to my first tithing settlement, regardless of my clothes.
Example #3:
As a young Elders Quorum President in a city just outside of Seattle, I found myself spending most weekends moving people- I’m sure some of you can relate. One Thursday night I received a call from a sister in a town about an hour away. She said she was moving into our ward and needed help. I asked her for her new address and told her to call me when she arrived, and we would help unload. Her voice then cracked a little and said that she had nobody to help move her from her current apartment. She said she had called the Elders Quorum President of her current ward and he said they were too busy and she should have called sooner.
For a second, I was furious that another Elders Quorum President would say this to someone in his ward. I asked where she lived exactly and realized it was in an area with thousands of apartments. I will never forget the feeling that came over me that helped me have a different perspective. In my mind I could see an Elders Quorum President with a young family like mine, moving people every weekend and many weeknights who was completely at his wits end. I then told this sister that I would be at her apartment at 5:00 PM the next day with some young men and we would move her to our city and into her new apartment. I left work early the next day to get home, pick up the young men and get to the apartment where this lady lived. Upon my arrival, there was no U-Haul truck, and no desperate lady waiting to move. We sat there for an hour, this is back when everyone did not have cell phones. The young men with me said we should go home, but I told them we could not, that this sister really needed our help. I then told them to jump in the car and we would go find her. They laughed at me and asked, “How are we going to find her? You don’t know what she looks like and there are hundreds of people on the streets.”
I thought to myself, they are right, this is crazy, but I could not forget the prompting I had the night before. So off we went and drove to the nearest U-Haul store about 10 minutes away. When we got there, they were closed. We then started back to the apartment where we were to move this sister. As we were driving we passed a woman in an overcoat, walking slowly with her head down. I pulled over and said, “Hi, I’m Eric Conrad from the North Bend Elders Quorum, are you the sister who needs help moving?” She was! And she was so excited. I asked her to hop in and we would take her home. I learned on the drive home that on her way to the U-haul store, her car broke down and so she had walked all the way there only to find them closed. The Priests and I then had to get creative, but we did get this single sister moved into her new apartment by 1:30 AM. In a situation where I had first perceived a flaky lady who hadn’t planned out her life well- ended up teaching myself and the young men in my ward that the Lord looks out for all of His children and we are His hands.
In closing, I want you to make a judgment. Use your unique perspective and tell me what you see when you look at this picture? It is my wife, our 7 kids and 3 grandkids. I like to think that we are the basic LDS model of a happy family.
Now I’m going to ask you to shift your perspective just a bit with one more photo.
What do you see now? Yes, these are two separate gravestones. My name is on one and Kami’s name on another. Both of our happily ever after spouses, the ones we are sealed to for eternity, have passed away. Kami and I are newlyweds and probably have been married less than many of you.
When you look at us, you may see a happy couple with 7 kids, 3 grandkids and life that has been close to perfect- the basic LDS model of a happy family, right? That may have been your perspective without the further depth of the second photo. Our perspective is different having lived through some steep trials. We recognize that life isn’t always so perfect, or easy, but we choose to keep our perspective focused on the eternal as we strive for happiness amidst the heartache. We also tend to think more about the load others may be carrying that we have no idea about. What about you? How has your perspective changed?
Now, to circle back to the beginning of my talk. Please text your original person a follow up note. Are you now thinking about what has caused the lack of communication or the shift in your relationship? Can you reach out to them with a new deeper, focused perspective that I hope you now have? Tell them something you feel. Something that the Holy Ghost may be prompting you to share with them. Tell them something from your perspective that they may not see, hear, feel or even know about how you are and how you feel about them. Please do so now.
Brothers and Sisters, thank you for listening and being so attentive. I hope that in some way I’ve helped to broaden or deepen your perspective towards life and your fellow men. Never forget that the thousands of students, faculty and staff here at BYU-H, have countless perspectives that they have gathered throughout their lives. Judge their actions fairly, if you feel compelled to judge at all. Remember to do so with an open heart and a broadened perspective so that all may be well in the end. For the perspective we see in the blink of an eye is not ever the whole story, and rarely captures the broadest strokes of anyone’s existence.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.