Aloha.
A few months ago my wife Belinda and I along with our daughter Ashley, visited a ward in Kaneohe to help fellowship a recent convert named Wendy. Wendy had moved to Kaneohe right after she was baptized, so she didn’t know anyone in her new Ward so we and a few others thought it would be nice to attend with her. It was a great visit, and good to see that our dear friend was in good hands with the amazing members of that ward. In between meetings and after church, we had the opportunity to speak twice with Bishop Chun, Wendy’s new Bishop. At one point after observing my wife interact with members of his ward and while showcasing her enthusiasm for the gospel and for life in general, (anyone who knows my wife is familiar with her infectious and distinct chuckle), Bishop Chun turned to me and made an interesting comment. He said “Bro. Duke, you married up didn’t you?” It was way too obvious and I whole-heartedly agreed. He then surprisingly proceeded to counsel directly with my daughter Ashley. Imagine, we were in a small group, but he turns and is focused specifically on her, and he asks, “Ashley, what is one of the most important factors that determines our QOL? Well, it took a little while, but with some help she figured out he was asking about “Quality of Life”, or in general our happiness in this life.
Here was a wise Bishop, taking advantage of a teachable moment and most likely being prompted by the Spirit, to teach my daughter an important point. The message to her that day, twice in fact, was that the decision she makes in whom she marries will have a huge impact on her quality of life. He encouraged her to “marry up”, not hurry up! Naturally, as her parents, we certainly hope she is in tune with the Spirit to know whom that worthy young man will be when the time comes (like maybe in ten years). Parents . . . , we never really want to see our kids grow up.
As for myself, I can tell you I wrestled mightily with the Lord for an answer as to whether I should marry Belinda. As wonderful as she was (and still is), I simply wasn’t willing to take that step without a confirmation from the Lord. It took considerable effort and many attempts to finally get the confirmation. I sometimes wonder if there is a thin line between inspiration and desperation. (For those of you serving in Bishoprics who extend callings, you know what I mean don’t you?) Sometimes the Lord really makes us work for an answer. In pursuing a confirmation whether to marry my wife, I’m eternally grateful that I didn’t give up; it truly was worth the time, effort, and patience.
There are times in our life when those promptings come from the Lord in a flash and totally unexpected. Recognizing them, and taking action, can also have a huge impact on our lives and often the lives of others.
My wife mentioned earlier that I attended Rick’s College. The experiences I had there were incredible in helping me prepare to serve a mission. During a holiday weekend, I went home to finish filling out my missionary paperwork. I recall vividly the day I was sitting at the kitchen table doing it. There is a question that asks what date you will be available to serve. June 30th was the date I had always firmly anticipated putting down. But as I went to write June 30th, I got a very distinct feeling that I needed to change it. I couldn’t get over the feeling, and I mentioned it to my Mother, and she suggested that I ponder and pray about it. I got the impression of one of my college roommates in my mind; his name is Brad Winn. As I thought about Brad, I remembered that he already had his mission call and was going into the MTC on June 17th. The thought came to me that if I put down June 15th and I happened to get my call around the same time, we might be able to see each other at the MTC. Well the more I thought about it, it just felt right, so I changed my availability date to two weeks earlier and wrote down June 15th.
I can’t tell you how important it was that I listened to the Spirit that day, and that I took action. Sometimes even small decisions we make during our life journey, can be a like a major fork in the road, or a major turning point. For me, this was one of them. I did get my call to enter the MTC on June 17th. What is significant about that date is that only four Elders were being called each year to the Cook Islands. The Lord wanted me to serve there, and if I had not changed that date, I would have served somewhere else. My wife previously mentioned that it was on my mission that I learned about BYU Hawaii and was prompted to come here. And this is where I met her, and we’ve been blessed to be able to raise our family here with so many wonderful people, and so many wonderful experiences. For better or worse, I probably would have had a very different life if I had not changed that date. So I’ve learned that good things happen when we follow the Spirit!
If not already, there will come significant moments in your life when you will absolutely need or want an answer to prayer. In addition, we all have the opportunity to receive personal revelation even on a daily basis to help us navigate through the challenges and uncertainties of life.
Likewise, there may be times when the Lord is trying to get a message to us, but for various reasons, we may not be in a position to hear or feel those promptings.
How can we actively and regularly seek direction from the Lord to be able to align our will with His? How then can we best prepare ourselves spiritually to be receptive to those promptings?
The older I get, the more convinced I am that merely by doing the small and simple things consistently and on a regular basis, puts us in a better position to be blessed with the Spirit. Things like, daily scripture study (specifically the Book of Mormon), meaningful personal prayer, and keeping our baptismal covenants, which we are reminded of each week as we listen to the Sacrament prayers to “take upon ourselves his name, to always remember Him, and to keep His commandments.” Doing these things regularly provides an excellent foundation for us to be receptive to the Spirit.
We are also taught that to prepare to receive revelation, we should also be reverent and humble, partake of the sacrament worthily, take time to ponder, and be patient, as we seek God’s will. [1]
Unfortunately, many of us fall a little short on establishing these as habits or continuously striving to develop Christ-like attributes. Sometimes we are even oblivious to what our shortcomings and imperfections are. We are often consumed by our busy lives, or distracted by activities and pursuits that perhaps don’t leave time for spiritual growth. Our testimony however, is a living thing that needs to be fed, nourished, and nurtured or it will gradually die.
When was the last time you called “time out” and found a quiet place to simply ponder about the Savior, your personal development, or spiritual growth? How often do we strive to think about the Savior throughout each day?
Elder Jeffery Holland was asked the question “If the Savior is to become our Exemplar, . . . how [do] we go beyond knowing about him, and really come to know Him.” He replied by quoting King Benjamin in Mosiah 5:13. “For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?” [2]
Elder Holland then answered by saying,
“Is the Savior too much of a stranger to us? Is He too far from the thoughts of our hearts? . . . there is something about a prayer in our heart or an attitude or affection in our heart that can be more constant for us than it presently is. . . . We’re supposed to remember Him always. And we’ll have to find a way to do that...that would be a first step.” [3]
If we were able to master that, imagine the impact it would have in counter-acting all of the negative characteristics of the “natural man” that may be within us. Think of some of those, like pride, jealousy, anger, lust, rudeness, greed. If our hearts and minds are always focused on the Savior, it nullifies these tendencies. It’s important that we work on overcoming these on a regular basis. We are reminded by Robert L. Millet, Dean of Religious Studies at BYU and author, that we should not become complacent.
“Members of the Church who refuse to climb toward greater spiritual heights, who have no inclination to further anchor themselves in the truth, who have become satisfied with their present spiritual state-these are they who are natural men and women, persons generally of good will who do not understand that through their smugness and complacency they are aiding and abetting the cause of the enemy of all righteousness.” [4]
It behooves us to constantly be looking for that next step that we need to take in our journey to become more like the Savior. I’d like to share with you two resources that I think can really help us do that.
If you want to have some fun, find a copy of Preach my Gospel. In chapter six, there is what is called an attribute activity. [5]
It’s a personal self-assessment worksheet that you can use to rate your spiritual growth. There are fifty-seven statements organized into the categories of faith, hope, charity & love, virtue, knowledge, patience, humility, diligence, and obedience. After you’ve rated yourself, it’s so helpful because it identifies your strengths and your weak spots. You can then select the attributes that you want to improve on. I tend to choose the ones I’ve rated myself the lowest. Trust me, I have plenty to choose from. It can be a little discouraging sometimes, when we see where we fall short. But it’s important to remember that it’s a lifelong process, and we move forward day by day, step by step, doing the best we can.
Elder Holland gave a nice talk during this last General Conference titled “Be Ye Therefore Perfect – Eventually”. He emphasized that if we are striving to improve, we are on the right path and we shouldn’t get discouraged.
He said,
“I would hope that we could pursue personal improvement in a way that doesn’t include getting ulcers or anorexia, feeling depressed or demolishing our self-esteem. . . . so while in mortality let’s strive for steady improvement without obsessing over what behavioral scientists call ‘toxic perfectionism.’” [6]
It’s a very comforting talk for anyone who may be feeling overwhelmed in our journey to be like our Savior.
Moroni too was comforted by the Savior after he expressed a perceived weakness in his writing ability. In Ether 12:27 the Savior tells us,
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” [7]
This is such a powerful scripture; it truly empowers us by knowing we can turn our shortcomings into strengths. Make no mistake, it takes a great deal of courage to seek out, identify, and acknowledge our weaknesses. Pride, rationalization, and sometimes even laziness often get in the way. Even if we know or discover our weaknesses, by nature we are incredibly resistant to change. Change is often difficult. It takes time, and effort. We like to stay in our comfort zones don’t we? The adversary likes that too. What we have to remember is that the more we become like our Savior, and put off the natural man, the happier we are.
I’d like to share one additional resource available right here at BYU Hawaii that can help you in your journey to become more like the Savior. At the request of the Church Human Resources Committee, the Leadership Pattern was created in 2010. That committee includes members of the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve, the Presidency of the Seventy, and the Presiding Bishopric. The guiding question they asked was “What kind of leadership is needed for the future?” President Henry B. Eyring described the Leadership Pattern as “a framework of talents and associated behaviors to help us do the Lord’s work in the Lord’s way.” [8]
There are nine total talents. Six of those are operational talents that include skills you would find promoted and encouraged in any corporate or business environment.
The talents and their associated behaviors are applicable to each of us. Although the Leadership Pattern was developed for the Church workforce, the principles taught in it are extremely valid for personal growth. They also align perfectly with the mission of Brigham Young University–Hawaii, which is “to integrate both spiritual and secular learning and to prepare students with character and integrity who can provide leadership in their families, their communities, their chosen fields, and in building the kingdom of God.”[9]
Each of the talents have behaviors and skills associated with them. Some of the behaviors of the six operational talents are as follows.
Define Direction – goal setting, creating vision, and anticipating the needs of others.
Counsel Together – inviting input from others, speaking up, being receptive to feedback.
Build Capability – leading others to be better than they know they could become; developing new talents; and achieving greater results.
Organize the Work – planning, prioritizing, using the right processes, tools, and accountabilities.
Accomplish the Work – leading meaningful change, taking the initiative to act, and identifying solutions to challenges.
Render an Account – promoting accountability, personal development, and stewardship.
As you see, these are some incredible attributes and skills that each of us can utilize in many different facets of our lives. The Brethren have taken these six operational talents and added three core talents that can be used to help us to grow even further. These three are more directly related to helping us become more like our Savior, and building up the kingdom. They are, Lead Like the Savior, Act Under the Direction of the Spirit, and Align with the Brethren. Rather than describe the behaviors associated with these, I’d like to share a couple of video clips.
In the first, Elder Bednar explains very eloquently how we can utilize these nine talents and the teachings of the Leadership Pattern in our lives and in our work. [10]
I’d like to give you a little more insight into what the Leadership Pattern offers by diving a little deeper into one of the nine talents. The following video clip highlights the talent of “Leading Like the Savior”. [11]
If those videos happened to look familiar to you, Brother Benson L. Porter shared them in his devotional talk here at BYUH on September 29, 2015.
If you would like to learn more about these Leadership Pattern talents and behaviors, the five basic classes are offered right here on campus
by Elder & Sister Andersen and Jana McQueen. The Administration has provided resources and a training room for this instruction. These classes are available to all students, faculty, and staff.
The information is shared in a fun and informative manner, and includes many inspiring video clips of the Brethren similar to what you have seen here today.
Each participant receives a workbook that describes the talents and behaviors and how we can incorporate them into our lives and work. It is a wonderful opportunity to tap into some really great content!
Elder D. Todd Christofferson describes the Leadership Pattern as “a very good way of defining what kind of people we want to be. …[It provides] direction that keeps us aligned with the Lord, keeps us moving in the pathway of developing His character in us and accomplishing His purposes in all aspects of our life.” [12]
You’ve most likely seen information about these classes listed in the Bulletin or the Student Bulletin. They are offered on a regular basis and I encourage you to take advantage of the opportunity. Students, learning about these talents will help you to be a better student, a better person, a better leader, and to be in a better position to develop a more successful career.
In addition to the five basic classes, there are over two dozen Leadership Enrichment Series available for work groups here on campus. Each is a 90-minute presentation that goes into greater detail and instruction on a particular talent.
These are held in a casual setting with a general authority, and include a question and answer period with audience members. Some of the best teaching moments come from the response to a question. The very candid and frank answers are insightful and enriching. I’ve had the opportunity to either watch the video or read the narrative on twelve of them, and every single one has been incredibly inspiring. I keep waiting for a dud; it just hasn’t happened, they are all just so good. For me, it’s been like drinking from a fire hose, there is so much great content.
For those of you who are managers, directors, deans, etc, you might be wondering how you could utilize this Leadership Pattern material in your training programs to enrich and strengthen the employees in your department. I invite you to contact Elder & Sister Andersen to learn more.
In one of the Leadership Enrichment Series, Brother Ben Porter from Church Human Resources asked Elder Bednar the following,
“My question to you is that occasionally we’ll hear . . .people who are in the role of managing people will make the comment, ‘I don’t have the time to do that, to develop my people.’ ‘It’s not a priority for me or for the organization.’ Or, ‘it’s not my responsibility; it’s some other department’s responsibility for doing that.’ How would you respond to that, and what counsel would you give . . . ?”
Elder Bednar shaking his head responded, “I cannot comprehend in my mind someone in any kind of management or leadership position who says, ‘Developing people is not my job.’ I do not understand that mentality. And I do not think a person with that mind-set truly grasps leadership. If we are involved in leadership like the Savior, what did He do? Everything He did developed, lifted, and helped other people.” [14]
For those who have been here at the University as long as I have, you know we’ve seen different training programs come and go through the years. The Leadership Pattern is very different. The Church has had this in place for nearly eight years now, and it just keeps getting better and better. As we adopt this, it has huge staying power.
I’d like to share one final video clip that shows how the Leadership Pattern can help us change as we apply these leadership talents as we interact with others, specifically as leaders and mentors. This one is a little closer to home.[15]
I love the three thought-provoking questions encouraged by the Leadership Pattern that can help us to become more like our Savior. What lack I yet? What must I do? And, therefore, what?
Today I‘ve shared with you two tools that can be used to help each of us assess what Elder Bednar refers to as “the gap” between the person we are today, and the person we can become, one who emulates the Savior. The attribute survey in Preach My Gospel and the Leadership Pattern can have a significant impact in our lives, if we take advantage of the occasion to use them. Opportunities abound that can help us take that next step in our journey to become more like our Savior and to have His Spirit to be with us. I pray that if the Spirit has prompted you today to take some form of action, that you will find the courage to act. And if by chance you currently don’t have a desire to discover your weaknesses or to work on them, may you ask in humble prayer, that you will be blessed with that desire. It is my testimony that He lives, and He knows and loves each of us personally. He is waiting, with open arms, to help us in this journey, to return and live with Him. May He bless you as you strive to take that next step, whatever it may be.
I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
[1] LDS.org, Revelation Overview: Preparing to Receive Revelation
[2] Mosiah 5:13
[3] Jeffery R. Holland, Leadership Enrichment Series, “Leading as the Savior Would Lead”, Nov. 9, 2011
[4] Robert L. Millet, “The Book of Mormon: Mosiah, Salvation Only Through Christ”
[5] Preach My Gospel
[6] Elder Jeffery R. Holland, “Be Ye Therefore Perfect – Eventually” Oct. 2017 General Conference
[7] Ether 12:27
[8] President Henry B. Eyring, “Come Follow Me, and I Will Make You Fishers of Men”, given at a special leadership meeting on Sep. 17, 2015
[9] BYU Hawaii Mission and Vision, about.byuh.edu/mission
[10] Leadership Pattern video, Learning Journey Overview
[11] Leadership Pattern video, Core Talent: Lead Like the Savior
[12] Elder D. Todd Christofferson, Leadership Enrichment Series, A Conversation on “The Journey to Lead like the Savior”, Nov. 6, 2013
[13] Video screen capture from Elder David A. Bednar, Leadership Enrichment Series, A Conversation on “Leading like the Savior and Building Capability”, Jan. 21, 2015
[14] Elder David A. Bednar, Leadership Enrichment Series, A Conversation on “Leading like the Savior and Building Capability”, Jan. 21, 2015
[15] Leadership Pattern video, Dan Pollister – Laie Temple – Lead like the Savior / Build Capabilit