President Wheelwright and I are so grateful to greet a new year and a new semester with you on this beautiful Hawaiian morning! I would like to introduce today's topic of "Setting Worthwhile Goals" by sharing with you one of our favorite family traditions; it demonstrates how long-term eternal goals can fit beautifully alongside short-term professional ones.
From the early years of our marriage, President Wheelwright's involvement at work, in the community, and with the Church have placed large demands on his time and energy. Our children and I learned early on to postpone eating dinner because he wasn't home when we expected; we muddled through math assignments and even science projects because he was at a Pack Meeting or Court of Honor; we eventually even grew accustomed to sitting without him during Sacrament meetings because he was either on the stand or visiting one of the other wards in our stake.
But all of these sacrifices paled in comparison to his business travel away from home. From the beginning, his profession required frequent travel related to case writing, research, consulting, teaching, and speaking engagements, at some periods averaging two or three days per week. He was a Frequent Flyer before most airlines even had miles programs!
With these responsibilities, and especially his travel schedule, came hard decisions about how he was going to fulfill his goal of being a loving, committed, and involved husband and father. After much consideration, he decided that one way he could spend more meaningful time with each of his children was to take them with him on his business trips. He usually knew his schedule far in advance so at the beginning of each school year we would have a special Family Home Evening where he would lay out his travel plans and invite each child to accompany him on one trip. Let me give you a few examples of these memorable one-on-one adventures.
One year, our six-year-old son, Matt, went with Dad to Chicago. We had good friends there who could care for him in the morning while Dad worked; in the afternoon, father and son visited the fantastic Transportation Museum and other exiting places in Chicago.
One of our daughters remembers joining her dad on a short visit to Corning, New York, where she accompanied him on a fascinating tour of a glass plant. She still recalls the glass animals she saw being made there!
On an extra special occasion, two of our teenage daughters agreed to share their annual "business trip" and accompany Dad to Tokyo and Hong Kong! While he was busy teaching, they entertained each other in the hotel but the rest of the time the three of them explored the Orient together, making some incredible memories.
One of the best parts about this special family tradition, though, is that, honestly, the kids really didn't care where they got to go with Dad! What was far more important was the time they had alone with him. They loved flying on airplanes together, and eating at nice restaurants together, and exploring big cities or small towns or even noisy, bustling factories together. Without exception, these annual adventures were anxiously awaited and greatly cherished.
In the final years of his professional work, he had a bit more freedom to pick and choose from professional travel opportunities. It seemed a little unfair that this luxury came just as our children began leaving home to start families of their own. They were growing up too fast, and he felt more and more torn between accepting exciting assignments and being home with our shrinking family. One evening, he came home from work and told me what he had taped to his telephone that day. It was a simple, hand-written note that read, "Would I rather do this than spend time with my family?" From that day forward he turned down about 90% of those intriguing requests that would have taken him unnecessarily away from us. Of course, the kids made sure he kept enough business trips for each of them to accompany him once a year.
Now that we're empty nesters, he always asks me to travel with him! I know that I am invited wherever and whenever he goes. Just as he convinced each of our children over all those years of annual business trips, he has convinced me that there is no one in the world he would rather be with than me!
President Wheelwright
Brothers and Sisters, Aloha! It is wonderful to welcome you to our first BYU-Hawaii devotional of this New Year. We hope that each of you had a wonderful break and enjoyed the opportunity to remember the Savior and His birth as well as spend time with friends and loved ones. We are grateful to have you with us on this beautiful campus and we look forward to a rewarding and fulfilling 2011.
The start of a new year is an ideal time to set goals and lay out plans to accomplish positive and uplifting objectives. My own experience from over 40 years of university involvement is that, for undergraduate students, the most commonly asked question deals with lifetime goals: Which major will prepare them for a given career which will, in turn, launch them successfully out into the "real" world? In keeping with such concerns, today I would like to talk about setting worthy goals.
A couple of years ago, I received a thoughtful letter from one of the missionaries we served with in London. Like many of you, this young man was enrolled in his final year at the university, and while he had selected business as a major, he had little idea of what he might do following his upcoming graduation. He had two questions that I'd like to use as my starting point today.
First, how did I come to know exactly what route to pursue in life?
Second, what goals did I have for my career?
Like many of you, the young man asking these questions had been an excellent missionary, in no small part because he followed the counsel found in Preach My Gospel and set daily, weekly and monthly goals with his companion. But with the whole world open to him following graduation, he was having trouble getting started on setting longer-term goals. He and his wife had begun to make those goals a matter of regular discussion and sincere prayer, and they were now reaching out to those they trusted for helpful advice.
While I am far from being an expert at goal setting, I have had the opportunity over several decades to talk with literally hundreds of students regarding these two questions. In fact, I had these exact concerns as I neared my own graduation from college. With this preface, I would like to focus my remarks on how you might approach goal setting. Setting such goals effectively will have a significant impact on your confidence, peace of mind, and continued progress.
I have divided my thoughts into three parts: First, the blessings that come from worthy goal setting, as outlined in the scriptures and by the Lord's prophets; second, three distinct types of goals worth establishing and pursuing; and third, the challenges of setting and pursuing such goals, along with a handful of recommended priorities.
The Blessings That Come From Worthy Goals
Let's begin by considering our loving Heavenly Father's ultimate goal. As Moses learned firsthand, His work and His glory is "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." As the Savior explained to His disciples during his earthly ministry, "Life eternal [is] . . . to know . . . the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom [He] has sent."
What greater blessing could there be than eternal life, which comes by pursuing the goal that the Father's plan has laid out for each of us? But while that grand goal is one that we all share, our personal challenge comes in the intermediate goals that we each must pursue here on earth that will lead us to that grand goal. As the Lord made clear to the Prophet Joseph Smith,
" . . . Men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;
"For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward."
In other words, by setting wise goals, we can "bring to pass much righteousness" and retain the "reward" that a loving Father has promised each of us, " . . . peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come." Certainly such a promise makes it well worth our while to carefully and prayerfully set goals which will guide us in our career, our homes, our families, and in all that we do. Such goals provide focus and direction and can be a yardstick against which to periodically measure our progress. But, as observed over a century ago by a wise philosopher, in setting such goals we must remember,
"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."
Thus we must balance the spiritual and the temporal fittingly.
A wonderful place to seek guidance on achieving this difficult balance is the Savior's Sermon on the Mount, as recorded in the book of Matthew. Chapter 6, the middle of three full chapters detailing the sermon, contains counsel directly relevant to setting worthy goals. I recommend that you prayerfully study this chapter and find what applies most in your unique situation. Some of the verses I have found most useful include:
"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal. . ."
"No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon."
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you . . ."
Finally, let me mention one other guiding scripture, long one of my favorites, from Proverbs:
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. But in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
Our modern-day apostles and prophets are equally concerned with worthy goal setting. They have created special programs to assist young people in setting righteous goals. Many of you have had the benefit of being part of either the Personal Progress program for young women or the Duty to God program for young men. Each of these provides experience and guidance in setting worthy goals and receiving the blessings that come from achieving those goals.
Three Distinct Types of Goals
So, given this divine direction, where do we begin? I'd suggest we first consider the example found in the life of one of my favorite prophets of the Old Testament - Joseph who was sold into slavery by his brothers and spent approximately 20 years in Egypt before being reunited with his family.
From his early teen years, Joseph knew who he was in the sight of God and strived to be the person he knew the Lord wanted him to be. That is, he set a goal of being a worthy son of a loving earthly father and of a loving Heavenly Father. In doing so, he sought to live righteously and never betray the trust placed in him. Furthermore, Joseph set the goal of total integrity in all he did. As a slave in Potiphar's household or as an inmate in prison, Joseph was consistently honest and hardworking. Notice how his pursuit of two fundamental goals: being a righteous son and doing everything with integrity: set him apart from those around him. His faithful pursuit of those goals brought the blessings of the Lord, as well as the recognition of Potiphar, the jailer, the baker, the butler, and ultimately Pharaoh himself. What a wonderful example of setting and pursuing worthy goals, and then having the patience to "trust the Lord" and His timetable.
With the experience of Joseph as background, I'd like to suggest two types of long term goals that can serve as a useful guide in answering the two questions posed by our former missionary. The first type of goal has to do with identity: our long-term view of how we see ourselves. Joseph saw himself as the son of a Patriarch and of a loving Heavenly Father, with the responsibility to behave accordingly by always living righteously. In spite of many frustrations and injustices, Joseph never lost sight of who he was.
The second type of goal has to do with the characteristics and standards that one seeks to achieve in the work and service they provide, in other words, integrity. For Joseph these characteristics included diligence, honesty, humility, hard work, helping others, and consistently doing his best, even while a slave and a prisoner. Joseph was always willing to accept responsibility and to be held accountable. He is a prime model of integrity.
In addition to identity and integrity, there is a third type of goal that is very prevalent in modern society. I call this type temporal because goals in this category relate to the temporal measures of success commonly used in the world around us, such as money, title, fame, influence, power, rank, and so forth. The Old Testament does not tell us if Joseph had such goals but we do know that he became the overseer of Potiphar's household, the overseer of the prison, and eventually the overseer of Egypt and all that was Pharaoh's, all of which could be considered temporal successes.
Challenges and the Need for Priorities
For many people, temporal measures of success become major factors in their plans and actions, partly because they are visible and easily measured. Unfortunately, they may ultimately override more lasting goals relating to identity and integrity. Temporal goals might include reaching a certain organizational title or rank by a certain age, making a certain amount of money by a certain date, or holding significant investments by a certain time. None of these are inherently wrong. However, it has always struck me that if we plan too many goals of a temporal nature: be they status, rank, title, pay, or power: it grows increasingly difficult to "let the Lord direct" our paths; instead, we may increasingly find ourselves "leaning" to our own understanding.
Another dangerous aspect of temporal goals is that they may lead to tradeoffs, especially in day-to-day decision making, such as working longer hours and spending less time with family, or taking assignments that are inconsistent with personal values because of "extenuating circumstances." Remember, life can easily become "an unending stream of extenuating circumstances." The result is that these temporal goals begin to take top priority, and when compromises are made, they most often favor the temporal at the expense of identity and integrity. Perhaps this is one of the reasons that many good people end up in places they never intended. President Monson recently reminded us, "by choosing our path, we choose our destination."
As Sister Wheelwright mentioned earlier, in my own university career, I repeatedly had to remind myself that the fee from one more consulting project, or the notoriety of one more research publication, or the accolades of another set of outstanding course ratings: each with their appealing feedback and temporal rewards: was not ultimately as attractive as spending more time with my family and investing in their development. Of course I've seen some who did adopt temporal goals and still managed to give top priority to goals of identity and integrity in a manner consistent with the gospel; those who succeeded almost always did so by setting strict limits on the tradeoffs they were willing to consider and the compromises they were willing to make.
True success requires making certain things non-negotiable. For example, deciding to always live the word of wisdom, always pay a full tithing, and always keep the Sabbath day holy can do much to keep temporal goals from displacing goals of identity and integrity. Similarly, being one hundred percent consistent in spending time each week with family, being totally honest, and accepting callings and serving faithfully can also help maintain appropriate priorities.
While few of us have the kind of challenges that Joseph had as a slave and prisoner in Egypt, each of us must determine our own goals and the path we will follow in life. Remember, "by choosing our path, we choose our destination."
Let me relate some highlights of my own experience, in hopes that it might provide some ideas for your consideration. During my senior year as an undergraduate student, I faced the challenge of setting appropriate goals. I was a returned missionary, recently married, and earning a degree in Mathematics with a minor in Physics and Chemistry. I had thoroughly enjoyed college but had no idea what job I would like, what I might do, or where we might want to raise our family. Working through the placement office at the University of Utah, I interviewed for two jobs, both of which seemed like great options with real possibilities.
However, in spite of their appeal, I was reluctant to say yes to either job because I simply didn't feel comfortable with them. So, like our missionary consulting trusted advisors, I turned to my mother (an avid reader on every subject) and asked her what I should do. She told me about a fairly new degree called an MBA (this was 1965) and suggested I apply to Stanford University, a place she knew I'd always dreamed of going. After some research, I applied and was admitted. Off I went that fall to the MBA program, based both on trusted advice and calm feelings following much discussion and prayer with my wife.
By the end of that first year in graduate school, Margaret and I felt impressed to add a PhD to our undertakings. With the Lord's help, we were able to do so. Looking back, it is clear that I had no grand scheme in those early years but I did have some clear goals.
First, I knew who I wanted to be, and what role my family and my faith would play in my identity. These goals tended to be very long term and included having a strong marriage and a happy family; I was committed to making sure that my wife and I were full partners in every respect; I also was dedicated to serving in the Kingdom wherever and however the Lord desired. These goals related to my fundamental identity: who I was and how I viewed myself.
Thirty years later, the benefits of having simple and clear goals such as these came into sharp focus during an unexpected exchange with one of my colleagues. During January of 2000, my wife and I were called to preside over an undisclosed mission for a three-year period. Due to the length of that assignment, I would need to step down from my university position and faculty appointment, with little likelihood of ever returning to such a position. Still, Margaret and I accepted the call because we had faith it had come from the Lord and would be a great blessing.
Shortly thereafter, I sent a note to several of my colleagues so they would hear our plans directly from me. One of those colleagues called me a few days later. His first question was, "Is it true?" When I responded affirmatively, he incredulously asked, "Are you crazy?" followed by a firm, "We need to talk."
That same day, over lunch, we had a fascinating conversation. My colleague knew a fair bit about our church, having worked closely with me and a few other LDS colleagues. He explained that he had always found his LDS colleagues to be level headed and relatively conservative but he considered my decision to leave a senior position at the university before I was old enough to retire in order to take a volunteer position without pay somewhere in the world to be radically unconscionable.
I calmly responded by telling him what my long-term goals had been since the time of my mission at age 19. I explained that I had always considered myself a faithful Priesthood holder, willing and anxious to serve wherever needed. Furthermore, having watched my own parents serve in a similar position towards the end of their working career, I knew the blessings it would bring to our family.
I then asked this colleague why it seemed so crazy to him. He proceeded to tell me how his goal had always been to be a senior faculty administrator at the university. He couldn't imagine how someone could give up all of that based on a single phone call from a church leader. I simply explained that I viewed it as trading a wonderful job and environment for an even more rewarding opportunity and assignment.
By the end of our discussion, he was still confused by our decision but did acknowledge the consistency between my identity, what I valued most, and my new assignment, even if it was different from his own ideals. I left that meeting most grateful that, years earlier, I had prioritized identity goals focused on my relationship with the Lord, with Margaret and with our family above temporal goals based on the world's measures of success.
Now, let me back up again, and describe the second type of goal I had made while at your stage of life. This type dealt with how I would carry out assignments, responsibilities, and projects in my life's work. For example, I decided that anything I did would be my very best and meet a standard of excellence that would be a credit to my family and all those supporting me. I was grateful that my parents and other mentors had helped me understand the importance of hard work, diligence, and doing one's best.
In association with those characteristics I had also learned that "with God nothing is impossible." Thus I knew that if I consistently pursued those standards in all I did, while living worthy of the Lord's blessings, I could be confident that He would bless me and my family and things would work out; and, indeed, whether as a student or a professor, a missionary or a mission president, a husband or a father, such has been the case. Proceeding with integrity in every endeavor has given me the faith to seek and receive the Lord's guidance and blessings.
While maintaining that focus on identity and integrity has posed occasional challenges, the resulting stability and consistency have made it possible for us to receive countless unanticipated blessings: blessings such as direct involvement with the growth and expansion of the church in New England, including the opportunity to participate in the development of the Boston Temple, the assignment of serving with over 500 wonderful missionaries in London, and now the gift of interacting with so many wonderful Ohana members at BYU-Hawaii. With a great companion, plus lots of trust and faith in the Lord, we have happily gone where the road has led, grateful for each step and adventure along the way.
Let me hasten to add that no two people or two couples are alike. Everyone needs to find their own path and make their own decisions with the help of the Lord. But choosing worthy goals related to identity and integrity, and not getting distracted by temporal goals, has made all the difference in my life.
Indeed, the plan of a loving Father in Heaven is that in this life we are to have joy, to learn, and to grow. Setting worthy goals can help us do so.
Let me conclude by restating those three principles I began with that can guide each of us in pursing lifetime goals.
First, align your goals regarding your personal identity with those the Lord has for each of us as a beloved son or daughter of God, and then pursue a righteous lifestyle consistent with that identity.
Second, set standards for your own efforts, endeavors and work that are consistent with the integrity exemplified in the life of our Savior.
Third, seek heavenly counsel and guidance as you make choices regarding temporal goals and accomplishments. Be diligent in "seeking the Kingdom of God first," serving the one and only true master, and "laying up treasures in Heaven."
Please know that we have great confidence in your ability to learn and to grow and to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, just as we know our Father in Heaven does. God knows each one of us personally. He knows our unique needs and abilities. His plan for each of us is far more ambitious and blessed than what we can visualize for ourselves. We only need to trust Him and be willing to let Him guide us, and He will do just that. I am grateful that He's done that for me throughout my life, and I know He wants to do the same for each of you.
Finally, I would like to echo the remarks made by President Hinckley to a group much like you. On that occasion, he said:
"Don't short-circuit yourself. Keep growing. Keep going. Educate your minds and your spirits and never lose sight of the fact that you are a child of God with a divine destiny and capability of doing great and good and wonderful things. . . . Our Heavenly Father expects something great and noble and good of you.
". . . Go out and do the work of this world, but maintain your integrity. Be honest. Be good. Be decent. Be prayerful and the God of heaven will smile upon you and bless you, and give happiness in your hearts and a sense of peace in your lives.
"I wish for you nothing but the best . . . .You don't have to be a genius. You don't have to be a straight-A student. You just have to do your very best with all the capability you have . . . . If you do that, God will open the way before you and the sun will shine, and your lives will be fruitful and you will accomplish great good in the world in which you take a part. I couldn't wish for you anything better as I look into your faces this day."
I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Moses 1:39.
John 17:3.
D&C 58:27-28.
D&C 59:23.
Teilhard de Chardin.
Matthew 6:19.
Matthew 6: 24.
Matthew 6: 33.
Proverbs 3:5.
Genesis 39:8-9.
Clayton M. Christensen, "Decisions for Which I've Been Grateful," Brigham Young University-Idaho Devotional, 8 June 2004, as quoted by Thomas S. Monson, "The Three R's of Choice," Ensign, Nov 2010, p. 70.
Thomas S. Monson, "The Three R's of Choice," Ensign, Nov 2010, p. 68.
Ibid.
Luke 1:37.
Matthew 6:33.
Matthew 6:24.
Matthew 6:20-21.
President Gordon B. Hinckley, dedication of the Gordon B. Hinckley Building, Brigham Young University-Idaho, 22 October 2002. For further examples, see his books, Standing for Somethingand The Six Be's.